"Sparkling Ice" coconut pineapple flavored water (with vitamins and antioxidants!)

I've had a mild Pepsi addiction for over a decade. Tired? Reach for a Pepsi. Grumpy? Reach for a Pepsi. Almost felt compelled to exercise? Reach for a Pepsi. As there existed no Pepsi rehab centers in my area, I knew that the only way to stop this vicious cycle of caffeine consumption was to find a bright and bubbly replacement beverage. Enter "Sparkling Ice" coconut pineapple flavored water (with vitamins and antioxidants!) "And cancer-inducing preservatives," my after-school visitor, Maria dourly observed, perusing the label. "Go puff your cheerleader bow," I hissed, "Don't you have homework to do?"

Naturally, there was a problem. Pepsi, of course, is readily available. "Sparkling Ice" coconut pineapple flavored water (with vitamins and antioxidants!) is not. We scour the stores for my Pepsi-alternative but often leave disappointed. When we do find a stocked shelf, we empty it like a raving band of plundering vikings. It is an embarrassing item to buy as it doesn't come in cases so the bottles tip and totter on the check-out conveyor belt and then are so heavy that they often rip through the flimsy plastic bags (sigh...yes, I know I should use the attractive Vera Wang recycled shopping bag set I got for Christmas). So, my eldest daughter set about solving this dilemma of supply and demand. Savannah set me up an Amazon subscription plan with my free delivery Prime plan! So for a minimal cost (except to my postal carrier's back), cases of "Sparkling Ice" coconut pineapple flavored water (with vitamins and antioxidants!) were soon being delivered right to my front door. Climbing to Amy-high heights, these cases solved all of my earthly problems! Except...

"Uh, Amy, have you seen the credit card bill?" Uh oh. That was NOT a good sign. I do everything possible to NOT see the credit card bill. Apparently Amazon got wise to the idea that the free monthly delivery of a ton of water was not economically favorable for their business and up-ed my subscription cost 40% without warning. So, without warning, the newly-addicted to "Sparkling Ice" coconut pineapple flavored water (with vitamins and antioxidants!) unleashed the hounds of hell on Amazon; but alas, to no avail. I was cut-off. Reduced to shopping at the grocery stores like a gypsy.

And little did I know that my own Stack Zoffer was in direct consumer competition with me. Former 6th grader who now towers over me, Zach is currently teaching me the names of Buffalo Bills players ("I've decided to become a sports fan," I announced proudly. Worried, Zach immediately signed on as my tutor.) When we discovered our shared affinity for "Sparkling Ice" coconut pineapple flavored water (with vitamins and antioxidants!), I immediately realized that we needed to start working with, rather than against, one another. As a token of good will, I offered this brawling football star one of my beloved beverages.  Today he came in with a pumpkin-spice flavored milk to share with me. I think he may have missed the point...but it's a start.