Hating...I mean "Hiking" the park

 I am not a nature girl. The closest I come to nature is when Brad decides to torture me with the Discovery Channel. I was particularly fond of the "Eaten Alive" series. Is it any wonder that I am reluctant to leave my house? I am, unfortunately, competitive. And when friends mentioned hiking in Ithica recently and turning back on the trail, naturally I was curious if I could conquer the course.

I did some preliminary research on Taughannock Falls and learned that the state park promises a taller waterfall than Niagara. Okay...you have my interest. The gorge trail looked like a refreshing way to view this tall cup of water. Game on.

The next day and a three hour drive later, we faced a "Gorge Trail Closed" sign with the enthusiasm of Chevy Chase's disappointing encounter with an audio message from Walley World. "What else did your research reveal," Brad asked. "Well...there is a rim trail," I said with a marked lack of enthusiasm. But by golly, I came to see this waterfall and see it I WILL.

"Don't make this your Everest," Brad cautioned as we hit the fourth stages of stairs. By this time, he was managing both dogs and I was trying to manage an erratic heartbeat while hyperventilating. As I had planned a leisurely stroll along the gorge trail, I had not packed to meet the needs of a high-endurance hike. I eyed an orange Skittle nestled lightly in the dirt as I stood to the side to let an elderly couple pass me. "I like your walking stick," I gasped at the woman as she looked at me with kind concern.

"Shouldn't I hear the falls by now," I grumbled. "We can still see our van in the parking lot," Brad answered, glancing back. "I think we've still got a ways to go." There's a reason Letchworth State Park is the best state park in America. You can actually SEE stuff. "Haven't these people ever heard of a chain saw," Brad wondered as we peeked, peered, squinted and stared through the foliage for a glimpse of the gorge. I've seen bumper-stickers that read "Ithica is gorge-ous." I said to my husband, "but how do they know?"

"Is that a road," I screeched at one point, leaning forward against the gravitational pull of my sixty-five degree incline, "are you flipping kidding me?" We passed a convenient parking spot to access the trail. "Guess your research didn't mention this," Brad said as we continued our search for this so-called waterfall. Did I mention that Letchworth has THREE...two of which I can view from the comfort of my car? We passed a 2/3 long Cheetos puff. As a courtesy, we offered first dibs to the dogs but they declined.

The South Rim Trail morphed into the North Rim Trail and I morphed into a rage. "Why the hell is there EVEN a South Rim Trail," I yelled, my voice echoing from the gorge that has been hidden from my view for the past hour. A pair of perky joggers breezed by. "B@$tards," Brad muttered on my behalf. A pompous professor sporting a blazer with elbow patches passed us and nodded approvingly as we read the informational facts about Taughannock that decorated the North Rim Trail. "Yet another reason to hate the South Rim," I said, "lack of literature." Brad looked lovingly into my face. I smiled. Maybe this walk was worth it after all. "You know how they have different color codes to alert people about fire danger levels," he asked. I nodded. This wasn't as romantic as I anticipated. "I wonder if they have a similar system for over-heating because your face is ripe tomato red."

We found the falls. Uh-huh. Sigh. "Do you really think that's taller than Niagara," I asked. Brad patted his empty pockets for a tape measure. Now I was really excited about getting re-acquainted with my van. We turned a corner and I let out a screech. "Are you flipping kidding me?" I screamed again. Those may not have been my exact words at this point. There, ahead of us, was a newly-constructed overlook parking lot with an incredible view of the so-called tall falls. The Mosimans were more excited by the two...count 'em two...drinking fountains. Uninhibited, we dove in without reservation.

Refreshed and revived, we continued down the North Rim Trail. "Take it easy," Brad cautioned, "more hikers are actually lost during their ascent of Everest."  In spite of those words of comfort, we made it... finally...finished! "We did it," I gasped, victorious. Unlike our friends, we had completed the ENTIRE trail! "I've been meaning to mention something," Brad said as we headed toward the van and I began plans for our reward visit to a Dunkin Donuts. "What," I asked, already beginning the difficult decision between a powdered vanilla cream and a Boston Cream. Oh what the hiddey-hey...I'd get both! "You are aware that there are TWO parks in Ithica? Taughannock and Buttermilk? Are you sure we had the right park" I stopped and stared at my husband before screeching, "Are you flipping kidding me?"