My Birthday Adventure

My 44th birthday is fast approaching. I'm not overly fond of even-numbered birthdays but am a big fan of double-digits (I unsuccessfully lobbied to get married on November 11th so that my wedding anniversary would read out: 11/11/88 but I was vetoed because it fell on a Friday) so I am cautiously excited about what this year will bring. To avoid the inevitable school-day lag that accompanies a week-day birthday, my family jumped the gun a bit and planned a surprise "Birthday Adventure" for me this past Saturday. I was coaxed, cajoled and finally threatened from beneath my Saturday morning blankets with promises of fun and excitement.

First we buzzed off to Buffalo for my favorite of all breakfast meals: crepes! There's a wonderfully hip, artsy little place right across from the zoo that makes me feel like an utter poser every time I walk in but I can't resist. Despite my inhibitions, ("Maybe if you took off your doofus hat, muck boots and Dachshund scarf, you wouldn't feel so inhibited," observed Savannah, obviously feeling a tad bit inhibited herself. "Yeah, I feel inhibited because you look ridiculous.") I ordered crepes with berries and creme, Irish crepes, and crepes smothered in Nutella. For beverages, I ordered Savannah a hot apple cider (so I could have a taste) and a sipping chocolate for Sydney (so I could have a taste). Brad had specifically requested a black coffee because we've been married for twenty-five years and he knows how to successfully fend me off. I'd had a recent hankering for a Mimosa ever since my friend Geri broke out the brie recently for a euchre lunch so I almost ordered that but switched to the-more-exotic Bellini. A half-hour later, I was being half-carried out to the van as the combined effects of my drink along with a rapid sugar acceleration affected my already precarious equilibrium.

Naturally, the next leg of the adventure was Niagara Falls where the physically imbalanced are vigorously encouraged NOT to visit. Fortunately for my family, I was so caught up with the plight of a poor little black squirrel foraging for his frozen meal out of a trash can that I never actually got dangerously close to a railing over-looking the majestic frozen falls. "We have to help him," I sobbed, as my family pulled me away from the confused animal. "Mom," Sydney shouted comfortingly over my wailing, "There's a frozen yogurt stand at our next stop." I perked up, glad for the distraction as my Birthday Adventure continued.

Our next stop was a big mall so that I would have a choice of a zillion movies. I have a serious problem when presented with multiple choices hence I order everyone's drinks according to what I want. I agonized. I debated. I deliberated. I weighed my options. I eenie meenie minee moed. Then a little bird fluttered down from the second story ceiling. "How fortunate for him," I said, thinking of my poor squirrel as I watched my feathered friend peck at some crumbs nearby, "he stays nice and warm in here."

"Actually," Brad remarked, "most birds who get trapped in retail establishments end up dying of dehydration." Savannah sighed in resignation as I stared at Brad, horror-struck (or is it, horror-stricken?).

"But there are decorative water fountains throughout the mall," I argued, "with little bridges where people can throw pennies."

"Uh-huh," Brad noncommittally agreed, fearing that we'd never get to see a movie to eventually get the heck out of there. We spent the next hour combing the mall for a non-existent decorative water source.

"Look at all the puddles from people's boots," Brad pointed out.

"People toss out half-filled beverage containers in the trash all the time," Sydney assured me.

"Can we please just go to the movies now," Savannah asked.

Sydney and I ended up seeing Meryl Streep in "August: Osage County" which I keep accidentally calling "Osage Orange." It was an excellent movie to help me feel better about my own dysfunctional family. "The only dysfunctional one in our family is you," Savannah unnecessarily clarified. My Birthday Adventure was suppose to conclude with a Mexican restaurant but my emotional upheaval over the uncertain futures of the Niagara Falls squirrel and the mall bird had upset my appetite.  "I don't suppose your wolfing down a box of Raisinettes during the previews helped either," Sydney added. Instead, I spent another hour scouring the aisles of Wegman's in search of a delectable Birthday Adventure treat for later. Savannah, who quickly and efficiently selected her meal, spent her time harassing me to the point of my just giving up until I spotted a beacon of hope as my husband headed to the olive bar and there, tucked among the exotic Mediterranean delicacies, was my favorite meal:  grape tomatoes gathered companionably alongside small balls of mozzarella, wearing little capes of basil  against the luscious drizzle of olive oil...a caprese salad. My Birthday Adventure was complete. Even though there were a couple of odd parts, my double-digits birthday is off to a great start!