A really crappy Tuesday

It's Tuesday. I already told you about Tuesdays, remember? My opinion regarding this traumatizing day of the week was bolstered during today's faculty meeting as my administrator revealed some riveting data pertaining to referral writing. On which day of the week do you suppose the most disciplinary referrals are submitted? Uh-huh...Tuesdays. But this fascinating little Tuesday-related fact-oid is nothing compared to what I encountered earlier in the day.

My 4th grade line had just snaked its way around the corner to line up at the gym door when my 6th sense alerted me that something afoul was afoot. I heard "ewww...," "gross," and "I don't think that's chocolate." My highly-developed inferencing skills warned me to ignore this situation and instead check to see if the vending machine had been re-stocked with Pepsi yet. But I foolishly joined the group of gawking spectators. What I saw repulsed me but I employed every device in my arsenal to outwardly appear professional. There, on the hallway floor, lay a lopsided poop pebble about the size of a walnut. "I'm sure it's just a clump of mud," I said reassuringly. We should have no worries about the intelligence level of this generation because not a single kid in that circle bought it. "Mrs. Mosiman, it's 10 degrees outside," one witness helpfully informed me. "Yeah. And the ground is frozen with snow," a budding meteorologist added. "Well, maybe it's a malformed Tootsie-Roll," I suggested, frustrated, but not really all that surprised, that no other adults had joined this archaeological investigation. Retrieving a tissue, I casually plucked the poop up. The kids stared at me with a mixture of revulsion and respect as I sauntered off after shepherding them into the gym. Once out of sight, I broke into a blind run to rid myself of the package of poop.

What did we learn from this little story? Well...it's Tuesday, for one. Two, this is further evidence that teachers do not get paid enough. And three, this little episode cemented the rumor that Mrs. Mosiman doesn't put up with any s%*t from her students.