Sticking it to my friends at Christmas

It has already been well-established that I am a TERRIBLE gift-giver and this holiday season was certainly no exception. In an attempt to avoid the clichéd coffee mug, candy or candle route with my colleagues, I thought I'd hit upon a sure-proof plan by sticking with whatever theme we'd dressed as for Halloween which is why, last year, my friend, Kelly-Nichol-Dime got saddled with a Princess Leia bobblehead. Obviously, a gift that denotes great care and devotion. 

This year was a shoe-in, I thought as I began the search for Gilligan's Island-related memorabilia. Not as easy as one might think. After hours of careful Google-sifting, I finally settled on a classic, vintage-style magnet for all the members of our costumed clan. I fearlessly pushed "submit" and eagerly awaited the arrival of my perfect present. And waited. And waited. Wait! Does the rumored Christmas mail delivery back-log actually exist? The count-down to Christmas break was on and there I was, with no perfect present. I awoke on the last day in a panic. "Savannah," I said, shaking my daughter awake while dodging the heavy college textbook she aimed at my head, "if my package arrives in the mail, would you please bring it to the school?" 

It was a miserable day as I watched the minutes tick by on the clock and received             un-reciprocatable presents from my thoughtless friends. Finally, at the end of the day, as I trudged back from the festive holiday pageant, I spotted Savannah outside my classroom door. I squinted at the practically microscopic envelope that she held in her hand. "No," I whispered, "no, no, no, no, no." I ripped the envelope from her hand and out slid eight tiny classic, vintage-style PINS. "They're buttons," I howled, "Who's going to wear a classic, vintage-style BUTTON?!?" But there was no going back now...I frantically taped each in place upon my inspirational Christmas card with the disclosure message:  It was suppose to be a magnet. Then came the walk of shame. 

Thanks for the adorable automatronic singing dachshund accompanied by your delicious home-backed goodies that you slaved over for days...here's your classic, vintage-style microscopic pin.

Thanks for the gourmet chocolates...here's your classic, vintage-style microscopic pin. 

Thanks for the Vera Bradley wallet...here's your classic, vintage-style microscopic pin. 

Thanks for the listening to me complain for over a year about how I haven't seen "Pitch Perfect" yet and going out to buy me the movie...here's your classic, vintage-style microscopic pin. 

Next year...coffee mugs for EVERYONE!