Finger Lakes Trail "Fun"

 So when the phone rang in the middle of a Sunday afternoon, my hopes soared. "We're bored," my friend Todd reported in my ear as I watched Brad diligently scrub our pellet stove IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST.  Thank goodness, I thought, I was going to get to play euchre instead of watching my husband insist on being industrious. "Do you guys want to go on a hike?" I almost dropped the phone. WHAT?!? "It's not like it's mountain-climbing," Todd was quick to reassure me, "It'll only be two or three miles." WHAT?!?

Fortunately, I had my mountain-climbing shorts on..."Didn't you wear those to church this morning?" Sydney asked, fixing her hair for our hike. "They're very versatile," I replied.

A half an hour later, five adults and three dogs headed out to tackle a section of the famed Finger Lakes Trail, located, ironically enough, no where near a Finger Lake. Brad and Todd's wife Jeanne immediately began that fun game of "Let's annoy Amy by naming every flower and plant we encounter along with their scientific classifications." Todd took selfies with every colorful conk, mushroom and morel to prove, as he put it, "What a fun-guy I am." Amy, meanwhile, was staring intently at her feet so as not to trip, and trying to keep her heart from exploding with the blistering pace set by her former friend, Jeanne. Fortunately, Jeanne kept spotting wild blackberries and would stop to forage like a little bear so I'd have a moment to catch my breath. Having indulged myself in the most sour wild grape in the world early on in our adventure, I refrained from further partaking of nature's bounty. And really...why bother? Todd had peanut M & Ms.

Taking note of the blue plastic roping that lined much of the trail, I had to admire the Finger Lakes Trail's commitment to ensure that ALL people, even those with limited sight, could "enjoy" the hike. "That isn't a guide rope for the blind, Amy," Todd said patiently, "It's a maple syrup tubing system." Turns out my idea wouldn't be so short-sighted as Todd, knowing that I was nearing the end of my rope, "spotted" my truck in the distance. It was as if we were Dorothy and her pals, prancing merrily towards the Emerald City when suddenly Todd realized that what he had first taken to be my truck was, in all actuality, a creek. Innocent mistake. Perfectly understandable. But truth be told, it was like taking a bucket of water to the heart.

We finally emerged from a hike fraught with hidden pastures, private patches of pumpkins, tree-lined trails, moss-carpeted forest floors, and crocheted fields filled with Queen Anne's Lace beneath a beautiful blue sky. It was...a nightmare. "Can we please go play euchre now," I asked. Now it was time to really have some fun.