Squares, Triangles, and Intersections: New York City Math Problems

 Kenai. Alaska: Population-7,100

New York City: Population-8,500,000

Okay. So the decision to take my 14-year-old niece to the somewhat over-populated Big Apple at Christmas-time might have been just a wee bit over-whelming ("There are so many people," she whispered, craning her head up at the buildings looming overhead. "If she can handle a bull moose in her front yard, she can handle this," I assured my daughters. "You can't handle crossing the street in Warsaw, let alone Manhattan," Savannah grumbled, pulling me out of the way of an impatient taxi. They are ALL impatient, by the way.).

We dove into Times Square, letting the current of humanity sweep us along to Rockefeller Center. "Let's do the observation deck at The Rock," Savannah suggested, thinking her cousin could use a break. Oh...let's be honest here. I needed a break. "Excuse me," said the thousandth person who bumped, jostled, or elbowed me. "It's perfectly alright," I assured the woman who had just nudged me out of the crosswalk and into traffic, "unless I die," I shouted at her.

The Rock is always magical. I had been tracking my friend, Shanna, who was also in NYC and was always about an hour ahead of my current location. When she had been at The Rock, she'd done a handstand. I was also creating magic with my hands. "The sign says Push, Mom," Sydney said gently, as I wrestled to pull open the Observation Deck door to escape the cold wind whipping around the building. As the girls reveled in the breath-takingly dramatic city landscape, I was watching drama un-fold in the form of a wedding proposal. "Of course she said yes," Sydney told me bitterly as I recounted the scene to her, "a girl will say anything to get in out of the cold."

Still ahead of me out there, Shanna reported that she'd witnessed a proposal in Times Square. "I can beat that," I told her, as we watched a bride getting crammed into a revolving door followed by a parade of giggling bride maids. We followed Luigi from Mario Brothers for awhile but ditched him when we found the Rockefeller Center Tree. "Who said this is fun," Sydney frowned, hitting what Savannah and I affectionately call her "State Fair Limit." "Sydney," I lectured, "you are standing beneath one of the most famous trees in the world. Live in the moment!" Sydney preferred to live in a moment where she was instead eating a New York City hot dog.

Following a lady with a lit cigarette (because the crowd parted for her like the Red Sea), we maneuvered through Times Square to our theater. The debate over which show to see had been quite divisive. Hamilton was out because none of us was willing to sell an organ. "We've seen Chicago," I argued. "Not on Broadway," Savannah argued back. "Avenue Q looks whimsically delightful," I suggested. "Who doesn't love a puppet?" "Mom, the puppets have sex on stage," Savannah informed me. Oh. Cirque du Soleil it was!

Paramour was wonderful. Man on unicycle. Impressive. Man on unicycle with girl sitting on his shoulder. Impressive. Man on unicycle with girl on his shoulder balancing on a 12 inch round table. Impressive. Table rises six feet in the air. Girl stands on shoulder. Girl then balances on guy's HEAD! Who needs a story line? Not Paramour! They just need an excuse for a juggler to toss discs and an umbrella into the air. "This is not a skill that I knew needed developing," I whispered to Sydney, "Why am I teaching 4th graders about early European explorers? I should be training them on unicycles and giant aerial rubber-bands!" "I liked that song Three-Way Love," I commented on the way out. "Mom," Savannah sighed, "It was called Love Triangle."

Thus concluded Brianna's trip to New York City. A small town girl exposed to the sights and sounds, the hustle and bustle of the big city. "It's definitely bigger than Kenai," she admitted before pausing thoughtfully, "How big is your town," she asked me. My daughters grinned as I admitted that Gainesville proudly boasts a population of 223 souls. Who's the real small town girl in this scenario? And yeah...I have trouble crossing the street there, as well.