Who starts a car with a prison shank?

"It's all very simple," my husband explained. "Until Sydney's car is fixed, she'll drive the Titan, I'll take my van, and you can have Virgil's rental." I frowned. This didn't seem simple at all. "Remember that car is under my name," my brother-in-law joked. I glared at him as my family headed out the door to their respective destinations. I only had four miles to go. How hard could it possibly be?

Minutes later, I was sitting in the rental, wrestling Virgil's key-chain, which strongly resembled a jack-knife. I finally stumbled upon a secret button. Snap! A prison shank erupted from the housing. What was I suppose to do with this?

After moments of deliberation (I ruled out a stabbing spree as my brother-in-law was safely ensconced in a tree stand somewhere as he fearlessly hunted herbivores in the forest), I inserted the shank into the ignition and hoped for the best. Yes! Despacito was on! But no! The car wasn't. Hmmm. The car was in park. Tried it again. Nope. I pushed on the gas. Nope. Hit the brake. Nope.

I listened to the rest of Despacito before reviewing my options. Riding my bike was out. I called my fellow 4th grade friend Kelly but she didn't answer. Tried neighbor Sondra. Same. The bus thundered by. I considered flinging myself in front of it on its way back. They'd HAVE to pick me up, wouldn't they? I called my friend Shanna with some trepidation as I had written somewhat mean-spirited blogs about her in the past. She answered mid-second ring with a gravelly voice. Oh no! I woke her up. Nope, she just sounds like a sexy lounge singer in the morning. "Wow. You answered so quickly," I marveled. "When you call," she admitted, "I fear it's the 2nd Apocalypse."

As I stood waiting by the road for Shanna to pick me up, Sondra and her family roared past. I discovered later that I was the main topic of conversation on their ride to school. "Mrs. Mosiman is standing by the road," high school student Natalie observed, "Do you think she needs a ride?" Her mother shrugged, intent on tearing up the road between her house and the school. "Don't worry. I'm sure someone is picking her up."

I was eventually delivered, along with Shanna's brood of children, safely to school. I haven't been dropped off at school by a loving mother in some time. I miss that. I wouldn't hear from Shanna again until 6:30 the following morning:

Shanna: Was it an easy fix for the rental car? Or was something really wrong with it? Do you need a ride this morning?

Amy:  I was suppose to depress the brake pedal. The only thing depressed in that car was me.

Which actually wasn't true at all because who could be depressed when Despacito is playing? The beginning lyrics were somewhat ironic though, given my situation:

Comin' over in my direction

So thankful for that, it's such a blessin', yeah

Thank you, Shanna!