I am renowned for my listening skills. Compassionate. Empathetically intuitive. I consistently and selflessly put the needs of others ahead of my own. It's why I'm your ideal friend. You're welcome.
So naturally, I was eager to share my exciting day with my daughter, Sydney...you know, to boost her up.
"Mom!" she exclaimed when I dialed her number, "I've been trying to get hold of you all day! Didn't you notice all my missed calls?"
"Sydney," I explained (for the millionth time), "You know I have more important things to do than check my phone all the time!"
"But Mom," Sydney interrupted (rudely), "I wanted to tell you..."
"Syd! You're not going to believe what your dad and I saw on our drive to church this morning!" I paused for dramatic effect. "A woodchuck drinking from a puddle! Can you believe that?!?"
"Wow! That was something," Sydney admitted enviously, pausing to take a breath.
"Oh!" I added quickly, "I also saw a baby squirrel!"
"You do love squirrels, Mom," Sydney affirmed. "Speaking of that, I saw something today too..."
"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I squealed, almost forgetting, "AND I saw a small spotted fawn cavorting in a field of flowers! Completely magical!"
"That's great, Mom! I saw something pretty special today as well..." Sydney started to say before I glanced at my watch.
"Oops...you'll have to tell me later, hun! Our self-imposed eight-minute conversation is done for today! I'll talk to you later! Love you!"
Brad glanced over at me from the couch. "What did you think of Sydney's little beach experience this morning?" he asked me. I sighed and rolled my eyes. That man talks incessantly on the phone to his daughters. So annoying.
"What beach experience?" I asked still buzzing from having seen a puddle-dipping woodchuck.I mean, how many people can say that they've seen that?
"She saw about ten dolphins swimming within ten to fifteen feet of her," he said.
"That's incredible!" I marveled, "I can't believe she didn't tell me!"
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