Ain't no party like a graduation party 'cause a graduation party don't stop...

She was at a graduation party...
and drew a bull no man could ride...

"We have to make a plan," I announced to my husband. Brad, who, up until that point, was looking forward to a plan-free Saturday.

"Why?"

"We have to devise a strategy for attending three graduation parties today."

"Three? What? Parties? TODAY?" Brad stared at me in shock.

I honestly feel that it was kinder NOT to forewarn him (He might have found something else to do.).

He reluctantly got in the van. "IS this mapped out geographically, by time, or by probability of fun?" he asked.

"By time," I told him, "They're all going to be fun."

The discovery of gold-wrapped Rolo candy at our first stop was like a good omen. We hugged Graduate #1 (notable for her impressive Harry Potter trivia parties and having spent the greater part of her 6th grade year sharpening her pencil in my classroom) and then followed the flow of foot-traffic to the food. "This is the tricky part," I whispered, "Plate regulation." Unless there was a cheese platter. Then all bets were off. The aroma of barbecue chicken reached us as we waited and we looked at one another in alarm. The soul might be willing but the flesh was weak. "We've got this," I said, ripping Brad's plate out of his hands. "We'll share!"

Now...while it may appear that I am an accomplished extrovert, large gatherings actually have me seeking isolated, unoccupied corners. I'm less social butterfly...more social slug. When forced, my strained conversation looks something like this: "So...what's a firmly-established married couple like yourselves doing at a graduation party like this?" or "Of all the graduation parties in a three county area, you had to be eating chicken at mine." or "This must bring back fond memories of your own graduation. Why don't you tell us about it?" Brad is always impressed with what I'm able to come up with.

Graduation #2 was trickier. The parking lot was tucked between two opposing parties. I took one look at the red inflatable air dancer and said, "That's gotta be our girl." Fortunately, we were quickly re-directed to the party with the funnel cake/cotton candy concession parked in front of the rec hall. I was ashamed. I should have known. We hugged Graduate #2 (notable for having me complete her 6th grade health class word searches because terms such as "nocturnal emission" caused her to hyperventilate), stopped for our photo op, and I forced Brad to smell our hostess. "Tracy is the best-smelling human being on the planet," I told him. "For maximum effect, expel all of the breath from your lungs five seconds out and then, deeply inhale. Believe me, you'll thank me later." He laughed dismissively. "It's not like I'm going to get close enou...fff!" Tracy had, of course, launched herself into his arms by this time. "You were right," he whispered, as I desperately searched the food line for a cheese platter as he gripped our one plate, "She smelled great." "I know," I nodded, delighted to discover M & Ms at our table, "You're welcome."

Brad discovered frosting-topped brownies at Graduation #3. I was to remain cheese-less. More like a nephew, Graduate # 3 (also known as Lane) easily caught me as I vaulted into his arms. We checked out his quality new digs located on the perimeter of the property; a re-vamped trailer which opens up onto a pool connected to a trampoline. Brad grasped my arm firmly as I began clambering onto the trampoline. "Maybe we'll go home and fetch your bathing suit and then come back," he lied, leading me away from having the most fun of my whole life. He was saved by my friend, Joan. "Amy, do you have time for a game of euchre?" I checked my watch and saw with surprise that Brad and I had allotted ample time for euchre despite our packed-with-parties day.

"Whew! What a day," Brad remarked as we returned home. "I wouldn't have believed it was possible if we hadn't done it ourselves." I remained silent. Better he not know that today was just practice for NEXT Saturday.