A Magical Hogwarts Holiday

 The Mosiman women decided to spend the holidays in an old English castle, bedecked with lights and all the trimmings. It was, in a word, magical. Did I mention that it was Hogwarts? We couldn't have been happier. We admired the illuminated pine cone ornaments decorating the trees, sipped hot butter-beer toddies as we meandered through shops, were sorted by the "Suggestion Hat" into our respective houses, and Sydney was deemed "The Chosen One" at Ollivanders with her Phoenix Tail-cored wand made of ash. We were home. We were with "our people." Why would we ever choose to leave?

But we did.

We were in line for "The Mummy" when Savannah began to express concern as we passed dire sign postings warning about ride precautions. "I took Dramamine," I reassured her, having mastered the castle ride like a seasoned Quidditch player. The signs grew markedly larger and the warnings more strident as we approached the boarding area. My confidence began to waver. How bad could it possibly be?

Turns out...pretty bad.

Three minutes later, I had ground my teeth down to dust, my fingers were frozen onto the ride railing, and I may have wet myself. Our car inched forward so that I could shakily disembark but, somehow, it had overshot the landing deck. This could not be. I glanced with great fear and uncertainty at Sydney, seated beside me. "No," she said, "there's no way we're going again...." We shot forward for another round of riding-fun, Sydney quickly emptying her purse as an impromptu airsickness bag and screaming, "I'm sorry," as we were plunged once again into the darkness.

Three minutes later, I was pried from the ride, air-lifted to a nearby bench where I immediately went fetal. My loving, caring children stood by to see if I needed anything such as photographic documentation of the aftermath (Savannah) or real-time evidence for future legal proceedings (Sydney). I begged to be moved to the sun and curled up in a cozy spot next to a garbage can. "Go on without me," I stoically croaked. Savannah and Lisa scurried off but Sydney remained loyally by my side. "I was a little sleepy," she later confessed, using my unconscious state as an excuse to catch a couple zzzs.

When I could functionally stand again, we slowly made our way back towards Hogsmead. Suddenly, Sydney grabbed my hand and pulled me into a poorly-signed, poorly-lit passageway. "It's a walk-through tour," Sydney said. "To what?" I wondered but she didn't know. Maybe the blood-stained hand-print on the static-y television monitor should have been a clue. We were now crowded on both sides by similarly-confused park guests. "I don't like this," Sydney muttered as I glared at her. Savannah and Lisa had texted us, questioning our where-abouts but had since gone mysteriously phone-silent.  We were herded forward through some swinging doors and the nightmare began: We were in an episode of The Walking Dead. Sydney and I screamed ourselves hoarse, learned our kung fu moves don't work on zombies and I may have wet myself. Somehow, we survived and stumbled back out into the sun where Savannah and Lisa were waiting for us. "It was too late to save you," they told us sadly, "We'd made the same mistake you did an hour ago."

It was decided that the only safe place in the park was Hogwarts. "How about we enjoy some hot chocolate and watch the Animal Actors Show before finishing up with the castle ride?" Savannah suggested, "You guys wait here."

We shouldn't have waited there.

"Sydney...don't look behind you," I whispered, "Frankenstein's monster is headed this way." He came within inches of her before Count Dracula whisked her up in his swirling cape. Scooby Doo and the gang were right up the block but they were apparently oblivious to our perilous situation.

 We watched the show. Drank our hot chocolate. Casted a few spells. And decided to end the day on a high note with the castle ride. It was high alright. About twenty feet high when the ride froze and I lingered longer than was comfortable, trapped between a giant arachnid and a dementor.  I was afraid I was going to wet myself. Was this the way I was going to go out? Dangling like a doomed dust particle in a deranged dungeon? No! Not Amy Mosiman! I was a child of the light.

Fortunately, fate intervened. Or someone unplugged and then re-plugged in the ride. Either way, I escaped Aragog and successfully evoked the Patronus Charm to evade the dementors (My patronus is a dachshund, by the way), making my way back, successfully...victoriously, to The Great Hall to be reunited with my chums. I was ready to go home. While maybe not necessarily as magical, holidays in my living room rarely leave me feeling nauseated and or in need of adult diapers.