What kind of pig is spicy?

Transitioning parental reactions in adapting to adult children can sometimes be tricky. Learning to ignore cleavage could take up an entire chapter of the book I one day plan to write. Gasping, wide, horror-filled eyes, and clutching your heart expire as acceptable responses when your off-spring have successfully sprung the nest and are living (mostly) responsibly and financially independent lives. 

So when I called Sydney the other day, I quickly interpreted her out-of-breath response and explanation that she was watching "Peppa Pig" with Stephen as my clue to go. Hanging up quickly, I responded to my husband's confused inquiry with "I believe Sydney is occupied with a young man." Let's just say, Brad is NOT transitioning to being a parent of adult daughters as well as I am. "How do you know?" he asked, "Did she disclose the family safe word?" "No," I admitted, "but she invoked a societal symbol of intimacy." Brad frowned as the phone rang.

"Mom, why did you hang up so fast?" my daughter asked. Explaining that I didn't want to interrupt a private moment, Sydney quickly explained that, at the moment of my phone call, Stephen was upset that Sydney had decided to turn "Peppa Pig" off. "Sydney," I said, exasperated (A mother can only take SO much), "TMI." There was a long silence as everyone fought to control their emotions. "Mom, you do know that I'm babysitting right now, don't you?" A photo text came in with Sydney snuggling Stephen in front of the TV.  

"It was a legitimate misunderstanding," I told my family as they gleefully added "Peppa Pig" to our short list of safe words to utter when one is kidnapped and stuffed in a trunk (or trapped in an unending conversation with an annoying person at a social gathering). Frustrated, I quickly provided proof that I, alone, had not assigned pornographic traits to a cartoon pig but that the world at large was aware and concerned about her penis-shaped head (Words that I never thought that I would write in a blog). 

To address this issue going forward, Sydney assured me that, were she ever in a compromising position when I called her, she would simply NOT answer the phone. "Don't tell her that," her father warned, "Now, whenever you don't answer her calls, your mom is going to assume you're watching Peppa Pig."