Amy After The Fact: What did the melon say to the lemon's proposal? I cantaloupe

It's not like it came totally out of the blue. Douglas is a mathematician, after all. Spreadsheets are his love language. Prior to Douglas, I was unaware of the infinite cuts and shapes of diamonds. Thanks to Douglas's pre-proposal diamond-interest inventory, I now know that an ideal/excellent round cut diamond produces the maximum sparkle effect. A marquise diamond elongates short, fat fingers. A pear-cut diamond placed in the classic side-stone setting will make your man-hands look more ladylike. Think of it as your ring riding sidesaddle...

So...yeah. We weren't exactly startled when Douglas broke away from our usual obnoxiously over-sharing group chat to message Brad and me directly.

We put Douglas on speaker phone when he rang several minutes later, a screaming child in the background serving as an impromptu portend of the far-off future. Brad and I were both pleased and touched by Douglas's old-fashioned but very respectful gesture so naturally, we responded in kind. "There are several things we like about you, Douglas," I began grandly (generously opening the door for him to wonder about the slew of things I DIDN'T like about him...he didn't bite), "You appear to be very fiscally responsible." Brad raised a palm in the air, hallelujah-style. Emotional, I faltered. Brad hummed under his breath and I picked up his cue. "You eventually admit when you're wrong when we argue about Star Wars trivia." Brad tipped his elbow which brought me to my grand finale. "You make sure that your home is well-stocked with coconut-pineapple water when I visit," I concluded. There was a long pause on the phone as Douglas digested this information. "So, are you okay with me proposing to your daughter?" he wondered. Brad and I shared a long look. "I thought he just received the Golden Apple Teacher of the World award or something like that," Brad whispered. "But that's in California," I told my husband, "We have to make concessions." Brad slowly enunciated his answer so Douglas would be sure to understand. "Yes."

An hour later, it was done.

The Mosimans are a sentimental group. Brad, Savannah, Lisa, and I were already on a group chat, awaiting this news. Memes and sarcasm are our love language and we were well-armed. Forget rice at a wedding. Nothing beats a right-on-target meme following a heartfelt marriage proposal. We rained down our well-wishes like sparkling sarcastic stars...the group chat briefly silent before one of us would explode with laughter, yelling, "Check this one out!" followed by an expectant hush before we were all hysterically howling as another "perfect" meme would appear. We almost spent more time congratulating each other as we did the happy couple!

As the evening drew to a close, I stole a glimpse across the living room to my husband, who was staring out the dark window, presumably pondering the up-coming changes to our family. I nodded, understanding. For a father, there is no gift as precious as a daughter. "You're right," Brad said reflectively, "but I don't look at this as losing a daughter but more like gaining an IT guy."