Having FINALLY arrived at a decision, all that was left was to simply purchase our item.
Simple.
Yeah.
Our endless errand for an entryway began in Rochester, where we successfully located our desired door. But, alas, we had no feasible way to transport it. "Aladdin rode a magic carpet," I remarked but, sadly, this was no Disney door.
Our door dreams delayed, we waited until the week-end and ventured out again...this time, closer: To Batavia...who did not stock the Andersen 4000. 3000, right-handled? Yes. 3000, left-handled? You-betcha! 2000...left AND right-handled? Doors galore! Everything EXCEPT the 4000.
"No worries," I stated confidently, "I'll just arrange for the Andersen 4000 to be delivered to the Batavia Tool Town store. We'll pick it up next week-end and save ourselves the delivery charge!" Brad remained oddly quiet.
In an attempt to be as accurate as possible prior to my phone call, I did some research on Tool Town's website and was pleased to see a generous inventory of the Andersen 4000 scattered throughout Western New York.
I called Batavia first. Most direct route. Easy.
Nope.
"We don't do inter-store transfers," I was told by a disgruntled employee who must have missed her customer service conference seminar. Her idea of "going the extra mile," was for me to drive double the distance and NOT bother her.
Okay. Let's try the Customer Service number for Tool Town.
Oh, Amy...you silly goose.
The anticipated wait time for your call is eight minutes. We recommend visiting our helpful website to quickly serve your needs. Should you choose to remain on the line, please complete the customer service survey at the end of your call, repeated the robotic voice...for TEN MINUTES.
Finally, a non-robotic representative took my call. I couldn't understand her and she couldn't understand me. We took turns saying, "Could you say that again?" It was an agonizingly frustrating experience:
- Tool Town Representative: Do you have the zip-code for Batavia?
- Me (stunned for a moment): Aren't you sitting IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER? Never mind, I'll look it up for you.
- Tool Town Representative: Do you have the item number?
- Me (sighing): No. But I can read you the description RIGHT FROM YOUR WEBSITE!
- Tool Town Representative: There are no Andersen 4000s.
- Me (sighing): I KNOW there are no Andersen 4000 in the Batavia store...I would like to have one delivered there.
- Tool Town Representative: There are currently no Andersen 4000 in stock ANYWHERE.
- Me (losing any patience that I thought I had): I am looking at your website RIGHT NOW and can see SIX in Niagara Falls, TWO in Irondequoit...listed a ka-zillion more..."
- Tool Town Representative: Ma'am, the customer service website is not always an up-to-date reflection of our inventory.
- Me: So, (Amy takes a deep breath) what you're trying to tell me is that, sometime between last week and right now, some crazy door-buying bozo went around and acquired ALL of the Andersen 4000s from the entire United States stockpile?
- Tool Town Representative: (pretending to be patient but coming off as completely patronizing and unhelpful) Ma'am...
- Me: (interrupts) Never mind. Send me to the survey.
- Tool Town Representative: Wha...?
- Me: The survey. At the end of the call. Send me to the survey. I'm giving you all ZEROES!
- Tool Town Representative: Ma'am, the survey has a rating from 1-4.
- Me: Arghhhhhhh!!!!!
I selected "ones" for all the categories provided and then yelled for five minutes in the space Tool Town gives you if you have any additional comments. I went all Scarlett O'Hara at one point and loudly declared, "As God as my witness, I'll never shop at Tool Town again!"
I had, of course, forgotten about the gift cards.
I hadn't, of course, forgotten that my dog was going to love this door and it was greatly going to enhance her golden years.
I reluctantly returned to the website.
$35 delivery.
Huh.
I factored in time, gas, and marital harmony trying to wrestle the door into our vehicle. Plus the necessary stop for a drink to recover from the stress of trying to wrestle the door into the vehicle.
Before pulling the trigger, I made another call.
"Do it," Brad encouraged without hesitation.
"But wait," I cautioned, "there's more."
Silence on the other side of the line.
"It's $35 no matter WHAT we order," I told him.
"Yeah...?"
"So, what about buying TWO doors...for the living room AND the dining room?" I quietly queried.
Brad was stunned. Rarely do I initiate home improvement-based hard labor. If anyone doubted my love for my dachshund before, this was unshakable proof.
"Do it," he said.
The doors arrived THE NEXT DAY.
Let me be very clear...I am NOT en-DOOR-sing Tool Town. This should NOT be the way one conducts business. I got what I ordered...nothing more, nothing less. I have no warm, fuzzy feelings towards Tool Town. I do not feel respected or valued by that business. Their phone and on-line service is completely stripped of warmth and regard. When it comes to selling doors, Tool Town really should have handled things better!
But I showed them! (By spending close to a grand on doors and accessories!)
All of this could have been prevented if I had known that Tool Town has some pretty peculiar retail regulations. For example, I heard that, as a general rule, Tool Town won't sell hammers in person. According to their policy, they have to mallet to you!
No comments:
Post a Comment