Hunting season is coming...I can barely stand it

Tree stand installation and maintenance is not high on my list of favorite past-times. Wrestling a rickety structure into place. Imagining my husband toppling out of said rickety structure in the wee hours of the morning during hunting season. Being asked, politely...repeatedly, to help balance the rickety structure by adding or subtracting a collection of semi-stable rocks. Whining when my fingers get dirty. Yelping when my fingers get pinched. Sulking when Brad pushes me aside to simply do it himself...the frustration and disgust providing him with the burst of  adrenaline needed to lift the rickety structure AND place the perfect semi-stable rock beneath its leg.

I took that opportunity to gingerly open my little pouch of fruit gummies...making it a point to take care, of course, of my hurt finger.

"Your tree stand resembles those long-legged walking tank things from Star Wars," I observed. "AT-AT walkers," Brad muttered, using his body weight to test the balance of his forest home. "You know that the so-called ice planet scenes were filmed in the hotel parking lot," I informed him, helpfully. "You tell me every time we watch it," Brad sighed, "It really adds to the movie magic." "I know, right?" I smiled, pleased that he agreed with me. "Apparently there was a snowstorm in Norway. Go figure. So the ice planet Goth was set next to an outdoor ice machine at a Super 8." "Hoth," Brad said quietly. "It was the ice planet, Hoth. Can you please hand me up the carpet?"

My hoarder...I mean, husband, had saved several musty rugs with the intention of lining the metal-grid floor of his stand. Disappointed that he didn't want to hear more of my movie magic fun facts, I nonetheless shouldered Aladdin's out-casted, odorous aircraft and heaved it up to Brad, receiving a face-full of dirt and dust for my trouble. 

I took a mental health break to get another little snack-y-snack, watching as Brad secured his re-purposed All Terrain Armored Transport stand with what looked like re-purposed dental floss. "You couldn't find any yarn?" I asked. My husband encouraged me to take a little walk-y-walk as he finished up.

What a terrific idea!

Two minutes later, Brad vaulted out of his stand in response to my shrieking. "Brad! Brad!" Like a bullet, he pierced through pine bough blockades to get to me. Reaching me in record time, he quickly scanned our surroundings for danger. "Look at this amazing bug!" I squealed, "Can you

hold it for me so I can take a picture?" My husband took a deep, meditative breath...presumably psyching himself up to pick up an admittedly large larvae.  After our bug boudoir photography session, Brad returned to his stand while I continued my woodland adventure.

Two minutes later, I was shrieking again. Brad's response was not quite as immediate. He must have gotten tangled up in the dental floss. 

"What is it?" he asked when he eventually arrived.

"Look at the purple fungus!" I pointed, practically dancing with excitement.

A second photo session later and Brad declared us finished. We packed up, loaded the 4-wheeler, and returned home. Brad pulled up in front of the house and helped me off. When I asked why he wasn't parking our all-terrain vehicle in the garage, he explained that he'd just remembered that he'd forgotten something back at the tree stand. "Oh," I said, moving towards him, "I'll go with you." He waved me off, smiling. "No, stay home and relax," he insisted gallantly, "It'll only take two minutes."