I almost had a capy-tivating encounter

Long ago, when my girls were little, we encountered a little pop-up "zoo" in the middle of a desolate parking lot. My delighted little girls excitedly filled a metal cup with Fruit Loops and watched, dancing in place, as little monkeys used a pulley system to carry the cup to their enclosure. My family, for years, looked forward, each fall, to feeding the bears in Marineland... finally resorting to smuggling in apples as our conscience couldn't handle tossing mini-marshmallows into the toothless maws of these mammals. It wasn't that long ago that I myself wrestled an elephant for a jumbo marshmallow in my own village park.

In America, we have the sometimes-arrogant luxury of demanding five-star accommodations for every creature from caterpillar to cow. My experience in being a public school teacher as well as my more recent in-the-trenches education regarding elder care have done much to open my eyes to realistic expectations. Are they being fed consistently? Do they have access to clean water? Adequate shelter? Room to move? Routine medical care? I have been mortified, more than once, unfortunately, to have encountered children and senior citizens who were not provided these most basic of needs. I have also been greatly saddened by having witnessed children and senior citizens who have ONLY received these...the most basic of needs. 

Rule #1 in my classroom is "Life is not fair." Not every child... not every senior citizen...not every animal is going to receive the Cadillac of care. Life may not be fair...but it should be just. And "just" is basic needs:  food, water, shelter, medical care, and safety. Not everyone can afford a Cadillac. Sometimes a Corolla will do.

So, yes, I was a bit uncomfortable walking into an Austin shopping plaza aquarium last week. This was not the snooty, specialty zoos with their gourmet kitchens, in-house veterinary care, nail/claw/talon salons and their now-booming ka-zillion dollar revenue of animal experiences where you take out a second mortgage on your house to spend five minutes with your dream penguin only to be ruthlessly ripped apart after falling hopelessly in love. Nature can be cruel. I can't imagine anyone being stupid enough to fall for that gimmick.

Your senses come alive the moment you enter the facility. Punched in the face with the pungent odor of a thousand defecating animals, you are immediately rendered, blissfully, nose-blind. You are first greeted by the Madagascar black-and-white-ruffled lemurs. Apparently, of the 10,000 remaining on the planet, 9,999 are housed in a shopping plaza aquarium in Austin. And ruffled is right. Their piercing screams communicated just how happy they were to see us. They are the world's largest pollinator (that also explained the aroma) and they boast TWO tongues...neither of which would stop wagging indignantly at us. "Look, Mom," Savannah said, pointing at a sign, "You can schedule an animal experience with a lemur." I shook my head, no, suspecting that this experience would have something to do with a lemur ripping my face off of my body.

I was much more comfortable feeding the prehistorically large fish, letting sting rays vacu-hose food pellets off my palm, and inviting spindly-legged shrimp to race up and down my arm. Turns out the "Keep six inches above the water" rule was more of a suggestion as everyone was shoulder-deep in each exhibit but no one was going hungry in this environment.  The tanks lacked decor (NOT a basic need) but were not horrifyingly dirty. The eels...reason enough to NEVER venture into the ocean...were thriving. I happily hit the trifecta in the giant koi tank...coaxing fish, ducks, and a turtle over to my offering. "Careful, he bites," warned my neighbor, a blonde eight-year-old with the life experience of a gnat. I hope the camera didn't catch me tapping the turtle on the head with my cup to get him to release my finger.

Now it was time to decide with whom to spend my animal encounter. The sloth seemed like a good idea except he was a bit pricey (for a shopping plaza aquarium in Austin) and he was, shockingly, asleep. The two little penguins were molting...shivering together by their enclosure door. They had, like Savannah, apparently acclimated to the triple-digit-Texas temperatures and did not appreciate the 70 degree day. So the Capybara it was. We handed over our tokens. Received an hour's worth of instructions and then waited breathlessly as the keeper entered the enclosure to see if the Capybara was up for visitors. I was transported, back in time, to the Roman Colosseum, nervously awaiting the life-or-death decision based on the unpredictable whims of the emperor. Unfortunately, it was not to be:  It was four-webbed-toes down (each boasting their one hoof-like claw), dismissing our desire for a date with destiny. It was probably for the best. I
couldn't remember all the directions. We considered the wallabies but I had just watched a video of a man and his dog getting beaten up by a kangaroo so I was a little jumpy about that possible interaction. The red ruffled lemurs seemed pretty nice but, according to staff, they were on a break. I don't know how I missed the cigarettes and cocktails in their cage. And then, suddenly, without solicitation or warning, we were being briskly escorted back to the entrance so that we could have a feeding encounter with the Madagascar black-and-white-ruffled lemurs.

I'm pretty sure I can out-scream a Madagascar black-and-white-ruffled lemur if the situation were warranted. I reluctantly handed over my tokens and thought, longingly, of the peacefully unreceptive Capybara. I watched a small black paw punch the mail slot of his metal cage open. The staff member placed some ripe raspberries in my palm. I swear the little lemur tapped a forefinger against his wrist, impatiently indicating that time was a-wasting. I ventured warily closer...close enough for one small hand to explode out of the slot to grip mine, pulling my open palm towards him while the other paw moved with lightning speed to make that raspberry disappear with the slick slight of hand maneuver used by seasoned magicians. I was given another raspberry (Thank you?) and the little lemur stuffed his snout through the narrow opening. But I'd learned my lesson with the turtle. We would be handling this exchange like Olympic runners passing the torch or an illicit drug exchange like the ones I suspect occurred daily behind a little shopping plaza in Austin. 

I had fun.

Not virtuous fun like when 10 percent of your overpriced fancy drink purchase goes to charity.

More like tawdry fun...like when you stumble into a somewhat seedy but reasonably safe bar whose already cheap drinks are now half off. 

I observed fresh shavings being laid down. I saw an employee chase down and rescue an errant gecko. Animals were fed. The water was passably clean, especially by Michigan standards. The inhabitants were given breaks and space if they weren't in the mood for an interactive experience. This wasn't a deluxe organic dog food in the refrigerator enterprise...this was a sack of Old Roy slung over your shoulder. Most of us have been there so we don't judge.

At least, out loud.

I feel a little dirty saying it...but, I had a blast. 

And, maybe, the next time I go, Caesar Augustus Capybarus will vote four-webbed-toes up.