The condition of my hair

"You know what the favorite part of my day was," Sydney gasped, between breaths, "this."

This.

This was me trying to proactively keep up with my appearance. "My hair's been feeling rather dry lately," I shared with my husband as we wheeled a "Stuff-mart" cart about the store. "Uh-huh," he answered, obviously fascinated. I led him into the hair products aisle where I began the laboriously important process of uncorking every bottle for the "Sniff Test." Brad had disappeared before I had even made it to the third shelf. No endurance, that man. He buys deodorant based on price. Animal.

I eventually narrowed my choices to three. I read and then re-read each label's heart-felt pledge to hydrate my hair to new heights...to flood each follicle to a flourishing finish. My Sahara Desert scalp would become an oasis of lush locks. Choice made! Life changed!

A week later...

"I don't know what's wrong with my hair lately," I told Brad as we watched television, "it's so greasy." "Is that so," Brad answered before shouting at the screen, "What are the sebaceous glands!" I sighed. "I really thought my new shampoo would do the trick." Sydney glanced up from her Kindle. "What new shampoo?" "The new shampoo that I just bou-..." I suddenly narrowed my eyes at her, my hand reaching up to slide fingers too easily though the oil slick that was now residing on my skull. Sydney's eyes were suspicious slits. "Mother...you bought CONDITIONER. Have you been shampooing your hair all week with CONDITIONER?" I covered my face in embarrassment as Sydney howled. "Did you ever stop to wonder why it didn't suds up," she laughed. "It was an expensive brand," I said, defending myself, "I thought maybe expensive brands didn't bubble." Brad just sat there smiling with his bargain-basement deodorant and assured me that we'd go shopping again soon (for reading glasses).