I'm a size 5 from my knees down (not counting the cankles)

I'm forty-five. When am I going to grow into the graceful, gracious woman that I am destined to be? Take Friday, for instance. I apparently turned off my snooze alarm (or maybe there's a fail-safe button after you hit "snooze" over six times) and woke up, in a panic, 20 minutes before my scheduled departure time. Threw myself into my icy van and looked dismally at my frost-encrusted windshield. I can mostly see, I thought to myself optimistically until I was blasted by the rising sun. Blinded, I frantically stabbed the down button and drove the entire way to school with my head out the window. If that wasn't bad enough, a kind bus also pulled over to grant me access. I just hoped that all that hair whipping around my blue-with-cold face disguised my identity.

Upon my return home, I ventured out onto some snow-pack to retrieve my frozen dachshund. She bolted away the moment I sank, thigh-deep, into the snow. My daughter, Savannah, couldn't catch her breath between bouts of laughter as I flailed about helplessly until I was forced to crawl and then roll to safety.

The next day was "Fresh-Start Saturday." I almost called it a day right at the beginning when I mistakenly pulled misplaced delicates from my dresser drawer and stood, in baffled confusion, when I couldn't even succeed in pulling them up past my kneecaps. "You can't expect to fit in size 5s," my husband said consolingly, "and your knees certainly aren't fat. They're angular." My angular knees came into play again much sooner than I would have liked as, to avoid the mud that carpeted most of my lawn, I went to carry the dachshund out to the van, stepped onto some ice and, as my husband would describe it, performed a slow-motion pole dance of epic proportions around the snow fence, landing heavily on my "angular" knees while daintily setting the dachshund down to dash off into the mud. Is it time to face facts? To embrace the notion that I'm not graceful...I'm gawky? I'm not elegant. I'm embarrassing. AND I have angular knees! Well, at least they're acute ;)