Real men paint onsies

Two of my fourth grade fellas recently had new siblings join the family. "If they were girls," I thought to myself, "I'd have them paint onsies as a gift." Oh my goodness! What was I thinking! It shouldn't matter if they're boys or girls! Anyone can paint a onsie! Shame on me for thinking that it was only an activity for girls.

So I carefully broached the subject with my two uber-athletic, manly-men students. "Do you know what a onsie is," I asked, not prepared for the utter looks of disgust and disdain that I would receive. "Of course I know what a onsie is," I was told, "it's like a bathing suit for babies to wear under their clothes." Okay...first hurdle crossed.

"Would you like to stay after school with me to paint a onsie as a gift," I inquired. Once it was firmly established that I would be serving snacks, the response was enthusiastically in the affirmative. "What sort of picture?" I was asked. "Anything you want," I said stupidly. "I want an ax and an anvil," my one guy answered immediately. "No," I stated firmly.

"Why?" asked my 4th grader.

"Why?" asked my husband later as I related the incident to him at home.

"Because it's for a BABY," I insisted, "the picture should absolutely reflect the giver but should still be appropriate to a baby."

"What's not appropriate about an ax and anvil," my 4th grader asked.

 "What's not appropriate about an ax and anvil," my husband asked later as I related the incident to him at home.

 "What's not appropriate about an ax and anvil," one of the fathers asked later when I ran into him at the grocery store.

Sigh. Lesson learned. Real men absolutely DO paint onsies. Just be prepared that, instead of anticipated pictures of pink puppies, butterflies and flowers, you will be painting themes depicting mayhem and destruction.