There's no "we" in home improvement

American Rotteweiler with paint-tipped ears

When we ("we" meaning Brad) decided to forego our annual fun-filled vacation to focus, instead, on home improvement projects, we ("we" meaning Brad) thought it sounded like an economically feasible and responsible thing to do. What Brad didn't factor into this plan was that we ("we" meaning Amy) don't actually get motivated to do anything other than stare at the TV and eat Toaster Studels until 11 am every day during this so-called "vacation" period.

Working together as a productive couple ("A couple of what," I would quip while Brad, not appreciating my wit, wrestled with a fist-full of live-wires) takes a lot of patience and understanding. Two characterisitics of which both Brad and I severely lack. My husband has the tendency to self-talk his way through the problem-solving process which has allowed me to ignore about 80% of what comes out of his mouth. I just have trouble discerning the 20% that suddenly shifts to me, requiring my immediate attention. This leads to approximately twenty minutes of arguing about one another's pitfalls with me thinking "We could just as well be having this debate in line at Space Mountain."

Another problem in cooperative DIY projects is when apathy (Amy) meets perfectionism (Brad). A disinterested shrug and an "uh" response drives Brad nuts while looking at 500 different types of near-identical molding makes me want to scream. "What do you think of this one," Brad asked, holding up the thirty-second piece of molding that looked exactly like the first thirty. I shrugged and said "uh." It took a store-lift operator and the application of some well-placed two-by-fours to separate us.

We have another full week of "vacation" left. Help me ("Me" meaning me).