The Mosimans have never had much trouble selecting a Christmas tree as the end-goal of the majority of family members is to spend the least time as possible tramping through the wilderness in this holiday hunt. "What about over there," Brad would say, scanning the far horizon for the perfect specimen. The girls and I would have already marked out our pine tree perimeter to encompass approximately an eighth of an acre of pristine property from which to take a tannenbaum. This year, two more Mosimans joined our annual outing...rugged, hearty Alaskans with a love of the great outdoors. My nieces, Morgan and Briana quickly learned the rules of the game as we systematically nixed every pick as being "too symmetrical" or "too perfectly formed" or "too Christmas tree-y." "How 'bout this half dead one," Morgan asked sarcastically, surprised when we cheered her keen eye. "This one looks like it has a shelf on top," Briana observed. I immediately deemed it "The Hand of God". Any tree that is given a title automatically reaches finalist status.
And then suddenly, not more than fifteen feet from my truck...there it was...the dysfunctional tree to end all dysfunctional trees. "Where would the star go," Sydney asked, observing its array of ascending corkscrew branches. "Why...anywhere we want," I said with delight. Naturally, we sent the one allergic to pine tree sap in to saw our selection down while Syd and I took time out for a selfie. When it was time to carry our tree to the truck, Morgan, Briana and I decided that it would take the three of us to return the saw and pay for our acquisition. "We'll take the dogs with us," we said sacrificially as Sydney and Savannah were repeatedly stabbed with pine needles and Savannah's hands puffed up to three times their natural size. Meanwhile, Brad was staring wistfully off into the distance. "We didn't even look over there," he whispered sadly before he went to wrestle this year's "tree" into his truck. I smiled as I fondly wove my arm through his...the Mosiman girls definitely know how to pick 'em.
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