Adventure on the screen and behind-the scenes

Sydney, my friend Joan and I LOVE going to the movies. And since our hometown movie theater has undergone some pretty epic renovations, we often get three options to choose from at a very economical price. I admit it...I was one of the original nay-sayers who proclaimed that "It couldn't be done." I lacked the vision (and dry-walling know-how) to anticipate three amazing theaters housed in the one theater that I frequented as a youth. Ah...those were the days. The sudden hush that fell right before the movie started, softened even more by the blanketed walls and then that "phsst" sound of a bottle cap and, on a rare occasion, the whonking roll of that same bottle as it made its way down the sloped aisle, accompanied by immature giggles.

That was then. This is now and I am MUCH more mature. We are frequent visitors to our little hometown cineplex and can now say that we have viewed movies in each of their three incredible theaters. We'd popped in a few months back to see "Zootopia" with every kid in Wyoming County standing in line...in front of us. "What'ya mean It's sold out," I said when we finally reached the ticket booth before turning to begin the bribe process. "Hey, little kid...want some candy," I whispered out of the corner of my mouth, Humphrey Bogart-style before we heard that theater management was considering calling the police based on an (unfounded) rumor of "Stranger-danger." Spotting several former students, I switched ticket-acquisition tactics to wheedling and threatening but, alas, to no avail. We compromised by agreeing to watch Gerald Butler in "London Has Fallen" rather than leave the theater as requested. "I didn't know this was a comedy," I whispered to Joan as I lost count of the number of people blown up. We stared at each other in the darkness as Gerald Butler heard the discouraging news that he would be battling more than one hundred terrorists. "Well..." he growled (muscles rippling), "then they should have brought more men." Joan, Sydney and I cracked up. Who needs "Zootopia" when SNL writers are contributing to action films?

Weeks later, we made it to the big time. The theater with the balcony. We raced for prime spots but, as they're spaced two seats to a row, parallel to the ground seating below, it felt more like we were getting ready to begin our journey to "Space Mountain." We procured comfy, spacious seats more in the middle and enjoyed "Captain America:  Civil War." "Why are we the only women in this theater," I'd asked, looking at several male theater-goers wearing sweatpants up past their navels almost to their nostrils (Not judging). I'm not a huge action fan...nor a comic-book-brought-to-cinematic-life fan...but watching Chris Evans secure an in-flight helicopter with his more than manly muscles more than made the ticket worthwhile.

I stopped to use the restroom after the movie ended and stepped immediately back into my youth. The swinging bar saloon doors were like the magic wardrobe leading to Narnia. I shimmied sideways into the stall and grimaced as my knees knocked against the stall door (as I checked my nails and updated my "friends" list on Facebook...Isn't that what everyone does in the bathroom?), preventing me from locking it. To resume a standing position, I had to brace my hands against the sides and tap my years of parkour experience to American Ninja my way up the floating wall. It was like I was thirteen again. I approached the sink, hope fluttering in my chest. Could it be...would it be possible? I turned on the faucet and howled as the water pressure blasted my skin like thousands of little shards of glass. Yes! I was still at home!

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Amy," Joan lectured. "Years of renovation have resulted in an amazing three-house movie theater in the heart of Wyoming County and you DARE to complain that they do not yet have a five-star restroom!" "I'm not complaining," I responded, "I love our theater!" However, I am currently authoring a book-in-progress highlighting the best bathrooms of Wyoming County. So far, I'm leaning toward Stuff-mart (the back bathroom...not the one located near Metro-way) although several friends are arguing for the local doughnut shop. Maybe, to address bathrooms prior to a re-model, I'll include a section in my book entitled "Adventure Bathrooms." I could include tips to successfully reach the Warped Wall portion of the bathroom experience.