Friday, June 23, 2017

We have the disposal of hygiene items down to a T

Can you find the three things in this picture
that begin with the letter "T"?
Contrary to popular belief, I am rarely on a quest for the next great adventure. Believe it or not, I spend the bulk of my time holed up in my little classroom, minding my own business. And time and time again, unwelcomed and unsolicited adventure comes and finds me. And sometimes in the most innocent of disguises. "I'll have to call you back," I told my husband, interrupting our daily prayer meeting phone conversation, "Rachel just walked in." I always made time for my 4th grade colleague, a woman who epitomized professionalism and compassion.

"Amy, can you come with me? We need your help." I stood up immediately and quickly joined her at the door. "Is something wrong," I asked, worriedly, "What can I do?" "The situation calls for your specific area of expertise," she answered. My mind whirled. Did someone bring in a dachshund puppy that needed petting? Were they having trouble finding just the perfect clip art to accompany a boring document? Could they not reach an item on a high shelf? Rachel and I walked down the hall to where a crowd was gathered. There on the floor, repelling both man and beast (I was devastated to see that there was NOT a dachshund puppy available) lay two items of personal hygiene for areas both north and south of the Mason-Dixon line. "Ugh," I said, grabbing the baby wipe Rachel was holding, swooping the offending objects up, before disappearing into the nearest bathroom for disposal and a thorough round of hand-washing. "That was amazing," I heard a hushed whisper from the hallway. "She didn't even hesitate," another said in quiet wonderment. "Where did she go," another asked, "She simply vanished." Apparently I had attained Super-Hero-like status with my ability to stomach gross garbage.

"You do have a reputation," my friend Tyler said when he finally came forward to admit that he'd set up the whole thing. The items is question had already been taken care of but Tyler decided it would make a great practical joke (See Click on Blog Link #1 and Click on Blog Link #2). I was not amused. "Those incidences were spontaneously genuine," I told him, "not a manufactured hoax so that I could be manipulated like a trained pony." I vowed to never speak to him again. "Never," he asked. I amended my vow to fifteen hours. We both set our watches and he exited the room.

Rachel came in later to apologize for her dastardly role in the deception. I waved her admission away. She had obviously been unwittingly duped by an evil villain. But I admitted to being puzzled by one thing. "What were those two items doing together," I wondered. Rachel and I thought for a moment. "They both, sort of, have something to do with flossing," I mused. A light-bulb was suddenly illuminated over Rachel's head. "I know," said my 4th grade teacher friend, "They both start with the letter 'T'!"




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