There's no crying during Spirit Week

"Luke...it's a trap!"

"Mrs. Mosiman," my sweet cherub, Claude said carefully after I called on his respectfully raised hand, "You still look good," he reassured me, "but could you please fix your hair? It's distracting me." I glanced in the mirror. A long strand had whipped over to the other side of my head during recess. Not wanting to be an impediment to learning, I quickly restored order to my tangled tresses.

Now...mind you...that was BEFORE Spirit Week.

"What am I going to do for Favorite Movie Character Day," I lamented. Obviously, I couldn't go as Khaleesi from Game of Thrones. Strapping on my prison jumpsuit to represent Orange is the New Black probably wouldn't cut it either. "I'll just wear my r2d2 t-shirt," I grumbled. Sydney perked up. "I could do your hair like Princess Leia," she offered. Which is how I ended up sitting slouched on my ottoman at 6 am the next morning while my daughter rolled old socks into my hair until they were sticking off the sides of my head like giant bagels. I quickly re-enacted my favorite cheesy scene from The Empire Strikes Back for Brad to find in his phone later ("Did you find the picture I put on your phone," I asked him when he called me after school. He about dropped the device in his enthusiasm to see it. "I thought you might have meant something else," he said glumly after perusing my picture.) before heading off to educate the bright minds of tomorrow.

It was surprisingly quiet in my classroom throughout the day...my bagels casting quite the shadow each time they passed in front of the SMARTboard. Sixteen pairs of eyes remained fixed on me as we practiced using variables in math comparative statements, sorted nouns according to common, proper, concrete, abstract, plural, singular, possessive, and collective before beginning an in-depth discussion on using text evidence in a play to determine character traits. We were FOCUSED. Or so I thought. Another bagel eclipse of the SMARTboard prompted a discreetly hushed observation. "Mrs. Mosiman's doughnut hair looks like Shrek's ears." I wonder if my friend, Tyler, down the hall, distracted his own students by slapping the name-tag of "Jimmy Dugan" over his baseball coaching shirt for his contribution to Spirit Week. I'm sure he got up extra early to put THAT little outfit together. Forgive me. I'm just jealous. Next year, I will take a time-saving yet creative cue from Tyler and sport my OWN name-tag. HELLO:  My name is Inigo Montoya.