Let she who is without snack chips throw the first Frito

At 47, I feel that I should no longer have to defend my dietary habits. If I decide to plow through sixteen Russell Stover chocolate marshmallow bunnies in one sitting...so be it. I am an adult. If I sprinkle a smidgen of sugar over my peaches, that is my right as a tax-paying citizen of this, the United States of America. If I get unreasonably excited when Boo-Berry cereal is released each October...again...I am a contributing member of society and it should be of no one else's business what I chose to consume.

Yet...others still feel the need to comment.

"Amy, what is the definition of oxymoron," my "friend" Kathy said as I entered the room to eat lunch. I paused, reflecting deeply to provide her with an educated answer. "It's a contradictory term of figurative speech," I answered, "like jumbo shrimp." She giggled. "Or like your lunch," she said, pointing. "Fritos and yogurt are definitely an example of an oxymoron."

Silence descended on the room as the occupants waited with bated breath for my reaction. Would I knock Kathy from her chair? No...she's speedy-quick and pretty wily. Would I attack her character? Her morals? Her car-buying prowess? No. Her unnecessary and unprovoked attack on my lunch spoke for itself. "Aren't you going to say something?" someone whispered in my ear. "I'm thinking about sprinkling my Fritos DIRECTLY into my yogurt to prove a point," I whispered back. I don't believe in vindictive revenge. Like say, spending hours scrolling through my blog to find the time where I encountered Kathy at the grocery store foisting her ridiculous purchasing ideals on unsolicited shoppers (Click blog link here).

To change the subject, our friend Kelly laughingly lamented that she had apparently bought four bags of chips from students as part of a fundraiser. "Four bags?" Kathy said, "I bought four cases!" I see. Hypocrisy...thy name is Kathy. Let she who is without snack chips throw the first Frito.