Ransom rabbit: Why Traci should have never left her bunny behind

I am not a hostile person by nature. I'm more of a live and let live type of gal. Typically, I mind my own business. But THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! A girl can only handle so much! For over a WEEK...and well past its Easter expiration date...a GIANT basket of chocolate-y goodness has been sitting on the top cubby in the hallway outside my friend Traci's classroom.

I've mentioned her before. She is ridiculously regimented regarding her diet and fitness. I once watched her take a bite of brownie before immediately reconsidering and spitting it in the garbage; declaring it not worth the calories. I believe that was the same day I ate a sticky Skittle off the ground. To counterbalance her healthy habits, I often find myself buying two Snicker Bars from the vending machine rather than the self-rationed one per day of which I am accustomed. It's what friends do.

What friends DON'T do, TRACI...is leave a container of calories within easy reach of a not-so-strong-willed colleague. I've checked and re-checked those camera angles in the hall. I even went so far as to helpfully adjust the basket so that a strong breeze from, perhaps, a quickly passing person ("Run faster, Geri," I hissed as she raced by the unbalanced bunny basket fifty times or so.) might accidentally up-end it. Some would call it fate. No such luck. At my wit's end, I finally begged the custodial staff for a hammer with which to smash Traci's molded mascot to pieces. Apparently, the custodial staff are under strict orders to NEVER provide me with anything resembling a weapon. I have no idea why. All I know is that it is after hours...and the halls are practically deserted. Recent school construction has resulted in ladders laying around...and ceiling panels left open for an entrepreneurial woman who has watched Mission Impossible and taken notes. The only thing left of that bunny when we get back will be dust.

6/15/2018 How it ended: "I'm melting! Melting!
Oh, what a world...What a world!"