Wait. When you asked me if I wanted a "mentor", I thought you said "Mentos"

https://redandhowling.com/2018/12/27/the-mentor/

I really feel that I may have "made it" in the blogging world now that I have acquired a guest blogger. Even though my guest blogger insists upon being completely shrouded in an uncompromisingly impenetrable veil of anonymity, I feel as though my blog is breaking through to the reading masses. Perhaps the anonymity will add a heightened mysterious allure to what already is a cutting edge writing platform. 

Off and on, overly-enthusiastic schools will promote a Mentor Program for its newly-hired teachers. Ideally, life-long relationships would blossom from this forced partnership as the veteran teacher would pass along years of wisdom, knowledge, and know-how while hopefully suppressing decades of pent-up rage and cynicism.  I look back fondly upon my year of being mentored. My mentor would pop in my doorway on a quarterly basis, flash me an enthusiastic thumbs-up, hurriedly ask, "You good?" and then disappear before I could actually decide if I was good or not.

My anonymous friend was asked to be a mentor and nervously agreed. S/he later revealed what a valuable experience it was. The following are notes taken (facetiously) from one of her/his mentor meetings:

I advised mentee to avoid being assigned the peanut-free bus on field trips because it turns out that Doritos may be manufactured in facilities that could contain peanut/tree nut oil. And don't even THINK about M&Ms. 

Mentee taught me how to bring technology into the classroom to enhance student learning.

I told mentee to buy the most expensive masking tape.

Mentee taught me to use web page to post homework and link games and learning sites.

I told mentee to remember to sign out for outdoor recess.

Mentee taught me to turn on Ipad and utilize apps for student learning.

I asked mentee what an app is.

I explained to mentee how to best utilize duct tape for a quiet, respectful classroom.

Mentee helped me set up and implement the reading program, Raz-kids.

I taught mentee how to best avoid aggravating school secretaries.

Mentee established numerous rubrics for me to use for module assessments.

Wow. I admit I was stunned. I may have even teared up a bit. What a beautiful exchange of ideas. A collaborative master-piece. "You actually had meetings?" I asked my friend, astonished. S/he nodded. "I don't think I have what it takes to be an effective mentor," I told her. "Don't sell yourself short," s/he answered, "Look at how well I did." 

I nodded, considering the knowledge that I would want to pass along to future generations of educators. What would have helped me? I wondered. And then I had it. The key ingredient of being an effective mentor is ensuring that your mentee knows how to order pencils, reminding them of faculty meeting times, and demonstrating the proper procedure for all those notes from home. I might gently advise against creative discipline practices such as throwing a student's shoes out the window. Another piece of advice would be to save making school-wide changes to morale until you've been tenured. Be the change you you want to see in the world but keep it confined to the four walls of your classroom or everyone will hate you. I would also encourage my mentee to purchase smooth jumbo paperclips. What teacher in his/her right mind buys small, wire-coated paperclips? Truly, a sign of an untried teacher. Maybe I was made to be a mentor after-all.