Look before you leap...by Amy Mosiman, lemming

So Brad finally succeeded in prying me out of Connecticut but our first stop on the way home almost had him turning the van around to deposit me there permanently. Returning from the simple quest of purchasing my husband a diet Pepsi, I dove into the passenger seat of our van, wide-eyed and breathless. "Why is your face so red," Brad asked, reaching for his beverage. The very beverage that led me down the path of moral destruction and debauchery.

I had innocently entered the gas station, bells tinkling like the gentle laughter of angels. I followed the long line of coolers along the wall to where they then snaked into a narrow corridor. I followed this dimly lit passageway, my eyes endlessly scanning for my spouse's soda. Suddenly, my journey was abruptly halted by an end wall of magazines. No...not Teen Beat. Not Horse and Rider. Not The Ladies Home Journal.  I gasped...stumbled backwards and made to flee, grasping the opposite display case for support. But what was this? Rows upon rows of colorful glass pipes. "Oh no," I mumbled, remembering a fateful trip to New York City where I had mistaken a similar object for a flower vase and had to be gently guided away by my teen-aged daughter.  Enjoying his diet Pepsi all the more, my husband laughed and asked, "Why don't you look where you're going?"

Why don't I look where I'm going, I wondered as, a day later, I drove my truck into the Stuff-mart's cordoned off parking lot which was being re-paved.  I mindlessly followed the vechicle in front of me through a complicated maze of warning tape until I was surprised to find myself solidly in the middle of construction. I remembered my mother's words from long ago, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" Apparently, the answer is yes. Construction capped heads with frowny faces tore down tape and gestured impatiently for me to exit their area. "Why is your face so red," Brad asked when I finally managed to make it safely home. Thoroughly enjoying the story (and counting his blessings that he hadn't been there), my husband laughed and asked, "Why don't you look where you're going?"