The un-miracle: Your coffee stain is shaped like what!?!?

I apologize for the inappropriate nature of this blog right now.

First of all...face it. Life is just one big Rorschach Test...

(Off-task moment number 1:  Googling how to spell "Rorschach" I immediately stumbled upon an on-line quiz.  Results:  "Sickness Quotient" of 83%. Analysis:  Stop acting like such a tool. Although your work can upon occasion be very good, remember that even monkeys can be trained to do what you do. And they don't call in sick. If you would also like to be emotionally abused by this website, feel free to click the link.)

...but why is it that some people get to spot Jesus in their toast or the Virgin Mary in the ashes of their fireplace or even just a cool-looking cross in the clouds? Oh no...not me. "Sydney," I yelled, shifting the hulking Keuig over on the counter, "When did you plan on addressing the matter of this coffee stain?" A strained voice hollered back, "What stain?"  "The penis-shaped coffee stain on my kitchen counter!" I screamed while she giggled immaturely from the living room. Sigh. 

Now, to give myself a bit of lee-way here, the world is FULL of phallic-shaped objects...

(Off-task moment number 2:  Wow! I had no idea!)

...but apparently, my level of juvenile humor isn't limited to male members. "Savannah," I yelled (I'm noticing we yell a lot in my very small house), "Come take a picture of this cookie I just frosted!" It was just a sweet, innocent, heart-shaped cookie. Bored with frosting all the cookies with the same color, I decided to be creative. "Don't do THAT again," Savannah ordered. My red (Rorschach-resembling) frosting splotch transformed my beating heart into my heaving bosom.  "Isn't it titillating," I giggled, grabbing her camera as she stomped from the room. 

I'm so sorry. I know, that as loyal blog-followers, you have come to expect a higher level of intellect from me...blogs filled with sharp wit, keen observations, and curiosity-piquing platitudes. I've let you down. Maybe the on-line Rorschach test results were right...I need to stop acting like a tool.