Sixty reasons to celebrate Geri

 "So...how about black balloons," came one suggestion as we brainstormed ideas for our friend, Geri's 60th birthday. No...

Obviously a HUGE fan of the limelight (I'm being facetious for those of you who continue to take everything I say literally), Geri was not going to take kindly to a big fuss. So naturally...we made a big fuss.

As Geri has the classic features of a movie starlet, I began the search for a picture that would encapsulate her timeless beauty. I texted her daughter for help:

Me:  We want to print a younger-version picture of your mom on t-shirts for her b-day...can you

help?

Cait:  I don't have any young pictures of her. I'm in Boston.

Me:  Yes...thank you, Captain Obvious. I thought you might have a picture in mind and could direct your Dad to where to find it for us. 

Unbeknownst to me (because Cait is a TERRIBLE communicator), she called her Dad and he squirreled two amazing pictures of Geri to me. Thoughtfully (because I am an AMAZINGLY thoughtful person), I took a picture of the one we were going to use and texted it to Cait.

Me:  Thanks for the help!

Cait:  That's an awful fuzzy picture of he took.

Me:  Why do I talk to you? 

So while the 4th grade team was taking pictures of each student holding a dry erase board that finished the line "I like Mrs. Dobbin because..." ("My favorite," Geri revealed later, "was the one that read I like Mrs. Dobbin because she teaches good."), and Rachel was staying up until 2 am, frantically ironing twenty t-shirts, and I was making a giant collage that was suppose to say "60" but looked more like "GO", and Brad Mosiman was making crème brûlée from scratch...Geri awoke to the day of her birth, convinced that she wouldn't live to see the next decade because she has psoriasis. "You don't drop dead from dry skin," I snapped when I heard her dismal prediction over lunch.

The morning was pretty rough. Apparently she spotted my affirming "GO" message and stormed in to complain to our administrator which didn't go very well seeing that he was sporting a t-shirt emblazoned with her classic features. The office staff cowered in fear (shielding their own t-shirts from view) as Geri stormed out of his office. In the middle of a hallway tirade, a small voice asked Geri if she'd read the messages of the children on the wall. "What messages," she groused, "I left my glasses in the car." The sincere adoration of innocent children began to melt her malevolent and murderous plans of revenge. I began to believe that I might actually live to see my husband and children again.

To keep the spirit of the day fun and informative, colleagues happily burst into Geri's room on the hour, like the ghosts of Christmas past, to recite 1956 pop culture trivia. So every sixty minutes, Geri's day was interrupted to remind her that (a) it was her birthday and (b) she was sixty. "Heartbreak Hotel" played at 11 am and our friend Tyler introduced the children to some cool Elvis moves.

Finally, it was time for the children to leave. The school day had concluded. "Whew...I'm glad that's over," Geri sighed as people began to pour into her room. "What now..." she grumbled. Oh! The obligatory group photo! Geri LOVES to have her picture taken (I'm being facetious for those of you who continue to take everything I say literally)! After a couple of shots, Tyler put in a request for a reprisal of Geri's original photograph. It is out of love and respect that I did not include the shot where Geri flopped over in her attempt to create her over-the-shoulder movie star rendition. Oh...nevermind. The woman threatened my life. Enjoy!