Why going to work on a Saturday morning makes me "crabby"!

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

So there I was, at the school on a Saturday morning to get some work done (and watch YouTube). I walked into my classroom, kicked off my shoes, danced around to my playlist, and then stomped back out into the darkened hallway to make some copies. And there...lurking in the corridor...a shadow along the baseboard. I cautiously tiptoed closer before skittering away with a hysterical shriek.

When my heart-rate returned to normal and I could again think rationally, I realized what had happened. Like Frankenstein...a science investigation gone wrong.

I took a breath. I had, after all,  extensive state-mandated video-related safety training for situations such as this and was highly-qualified to address this matter.  Naturally, the first step in following protocol was to immediately snap a picture and shoot it off to all my colleagues.

Me (Text to all):  An escapee! What do I do?

Then I bustled about and found a container and a stick-like object (pencil). I also put my shoes back on. "Don't worry, little guy," I crooned, sliding slowly towards him, "Your efforts have not been in vain. I'll take you back to your natural habitat." Please notice my intentional use of science vocabulary. In the midst of a rescue, one must maintain an aura of professionalism to reassure the victim. One gentle poke of my pencil proved that, sadly, his efforts HAD been in vain.

Me (Text to all): Never mind 😢 #reasonstonotgobarefootatschool

A former member of the team, not renowned for her sensitivity chimed in:

Kelly H: Lol

Kelly N-D-D (of whose shallow aquarium our now-deceased friend escaped, wailed. By the way, this is NOT the first time that she would become emotionally-involved in a science investigation. Click link for proof.): Gulp. I am the worst crayfish mother!!!

Kelly N-D-D: 😭

Kelly N-D-D: Rachel, you can now rub it in my face when you said they could escape and I said "pish-posh," and didn't use the lid so they could get more oxygen. And added more climbing rocks..😳

Rachel (Who apparently DOES NOT read for detail):  😪 I'm sorry that I was of no help...I've been on the go this morning. Did he make it back home safely?

Kelly N-D-D: It was a kamikaze mission, unfortunately. ☠

Kelly N-D-D: Amy, you actually could be having crayfish for dinner.

Kelly N-D-D: I'm joking but I really feel terrible about this.

Geri: I just can't believe you say pish-posh!

Rachel:  I don't think I actually heard her say those exact words!

Amy:  Unless you're Mary Poppins, pish-posh is always implied rather than explicit. And while sad that our crustacean perished, how I admire how he went out. Just imagine that rush of adrenaline...the exhilarating thrill of escape. Despite his brief existence, he certainly lived life to the fullest. Go with God, small friend.

Kelly H:  Lol...omg. Thanks for the laugh!

Again...I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.