Sydney's blackbelt test

I have been married to a martial arts practitioner for a quarter of a century. It requires a tremendous amount of self-discipline to be partnered with such an individual as Brad Mosiman as his tolerance for my karate-related humor definitely has its limits. Sydney has been taking karate with her father since she was a little girl and today, she took her black belt test. The preparations for this day have been intense and, occasionally, I was needed to act as the light-hearted intermediary.  As Brad read off Japanese martial arts moves for Sydney to demonstrate, I would giggle because they all sounded like motorcycle names to me. To be helpful, I suggested my own move. "Have her do mickeymousiegoofy," I whispered to my husband. When he noticed her frustration growing, he slid the term in and Sydney responded by glowering at me. I was beside myself during one of her katas (choreographed defense movements) that has very specific breathing patterns. I re-named it "Darth Vader Presents Baby Simba."  Turns out Sydney doesn't find me all that funny either.

Sydney defending from a chair...
see picture to the right to view the outcome

Look for Syd's foot and
the crumpled chair

Seventeen established blackbelts attended the test today. Some traveled as far as two hours away to be there. Many have known her since she was small, in fact, one held her just hours after her birth, but they weren't there to test a child. It wasn't an easy event for non-martial arts practitioning mother to watch. During a two hour span of time,

Flipping an attacker while
her father looks on

Sydney and her dad

Sydney demonstrated her skills before an intimidating panel of judges. She defended against frontal attacks, weapons, and blows from behind. She warded off aggressions as she was seated in a chair, fought off threats while lying on her back AND stomach, and was shook like a bottle if celebratory champagne, caught up in a restraining bearhug, kicking and clawing like a wildcat. Asked to approach the panel table, Sydney emitted a disturbing but sort of discreet cough. Savannah and I looked at each other in horror. Our little champagne bottle was about to pop. We watched as Sydney struggled to respectfully listen, now fighting an internal battle. Well, let's just say, you can't win 'em all. Sydney vomited (three times) with great dignity and amazing force within two feet of the people who would determine the awarding of her blackbelt.  As a result of this event, a splatter shield, named in Sydney's honor, will now be erected between the panel and perspective blackbelts.

Defending against multiple attackers

Despite Sydney's baptism of the panel table, the test continued. She fought off multiple attackers who rushed at her with an equal fear of being flipped and being vomited on. Her fists flew, kicks flew but fortunately, the remainder of her lunch stayed down. As the test concluded, Sydney stood back-to-back with her fellow test-taker, Jeffrey as over a dozen blackbelts surrounded them. As if on cue, the blackbelts descended upon Sydney and Jeffrey in a terrifying martial arts movie spectacle. I lost sight of her blonde ponytail until she emerged, having created a human-sized corridor for herself by sending bodies somersaulting, flipping and flying out of her way.  And as a result of all this, she earned her right to wear a blackbelt...in this case, her father's blackbelt. Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through when you can just drive to a Wal-Mart to buy yourself a black belt there.

Unfair odds

Sydney receiving her father's blackbelt