Bangry: My first day of school

Was it Churchill who first uttered the haunting phrase that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it? I'm not sure that he was referring to hair styles at the time but it was still aptly spoken. WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN? WHY AM I SO STUPID? ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Poor Brad and Sydney had to deal with my emotional breakdown as my recently-trimmed-the-night-before-bangs (-using-my-eyeglasses-as-a-leveling-device) transformed into a stiff roll-out awning over my eyebrows. Further mis-use of my hair-flattener twisted my bang awning into a sideways rooster comb. The irony only made me cry.

I drove to school, lamenting the no-hat rule, realizing that my poor choice was going to severely limit my students' responses to that eager, end-of-day parental question of: What's your new teacher like? Scratch "pretty." Forget "adorable." "Cute" was definitely off the table. The most I could hope for was: "interesting."

When I returned home hours later, I was faced with that eager, end-of-the-day husband question: How was your day? I paused and considered his inquiry before answering, "My bangs were the only bad part." This time the irony didn't make me cry.

I am considering writing a parody of Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall. Instead of "Teacher...leave them kids alone," I would instead sing, "Teacher...leave your bangs alone."

EVERY year...my goodness. WHAT is wrong with me!?!?!?

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