Brad loves, Brad loves, Brad loves...a little Calendar Bear

Went to my parents' house today so that I could ungraciously lose at euchre and Brad could reconfirm that the root of my unsportsmanlike behavior could be traced directly to my dad as we let him steal the deal twice. The highlight of our visit, however, was Brad's discovery of "Calendar Bear." "Calendar Bear" is a furry little fellow sporting festive sweaters themed according to each month. "Calendar Bear" has overlooked his dining room domain for over a decade but my husband, who can spot a deer at dusk in a cornfield from 500 feet, completely missed him but was now, completely captivated. Obsessed with the toy's glamorous wardrobe, Brad grilled my mother about the decoration of each sweater, making predictions until she finally fled the room to dig them out for his inspection. My husband marveled over each one, admiring the knitted snowman, the patriotic flag, declaring the September leaf pattern as his favorite. "But where is August," Brad asked, shuffling somewhat desperately through the pile of petite sweaters, searching for his birthday month. With lightning speed, my mother grabbed the tiny garment and threw it on her chair before barricading her less-than-100-pound frame over it. Brad was dumbfounded and devastated. "I can't see 'August?'" he said pitifully but my mother remained resolute that he should wait eight months so that he could be surprised. She then dramatically plucked "Calendar Bear's" amputated arm from its socket, to demonstrate her level of seriousness. My mother is not someone to be trifled with. I, however, am now looking into acquiring a fashionably dressed "Calendar Creature" as a Christmas gift for Brad. Maybe there's a dachshund one out there!