Reconstruction: A major shift in blog format

I've finally free! Today I broke the bonds that tied me to my tyrannical older daughter. This day I was released from an oppressive straitjacket that limited my creativity and curtailed my ability to exercise my 1st Amendment right of exploiting my family for personal gain and my own sick amusement.  Today, my husband presented me with my very own blog machine. So here I am, friends, Amy unfettered! All of the restraint that I've exhibited up to this point (also known as censorship, by the way) can be viewed with sad admiration as I spread my writer's wings to soar uninhibited, over the canyon, breaking free of the valley floor. I'm no longer a low-rent writer, squatting on Savannah's computer. Let's take a brief pause for those of you who immaturely giggled over my use of the verb
"squat." First of all, grow up. This is now a blog on level with The New Yorker, jam-packed with literary nuggets. You're snickering about the word "nugget" now, aren't you?  To clarify my original statement, because now I feel like it's totally necessary for the betterment of mankind (and because I'm too lazy to go back and erase it), please take the time to enrich and expand your vocabulary by reading my researched definitions from The Google. Feel free to use your context clues to determine which definition best fits my sentence. Please try not to fixate on the word "buttocks" although if you hesitated over my insertion of "jam-packed" then there's no help for you. Oh no! "Insertion?" Really? C'mon! It's a brand new day! A brand new me! A brand new blog! Watch out world!

 squatting

1. 1.

   crouch or sit with one's knees bent and one's heels close to or touching one's buttocks or the back of one's thighs.

    
2. 2.

   unlawfully occupy an uninhabited building or settle on a piece of land.