Epic lip-sync showdown: 2015

Contrary to popular belief, I am not an attention-guzzling glory hound.

Okay...I'll wait for you to stop laughing...

Still waiting...

Now that we can speak seriously together...allow me to say that, knowing that the 4th grade "Grit" movie was going to be on debut at the end-of-year school holiday assembly, I quickly dispelled the notion that the 4th grade team would also enter the big Lip-Sync Competition. "It's too much," I said, shaking my head, "This is a time for ALL of God's little teachers to shine."

Enter Mr. King (Cue dark, foreboding music.). Remember that annoying little terrier from Looney Tunes who dances incessantly around the patient and long-suffering bulldog in the red sweater? That's Mr. King. "Hey...ya gonna enter the contest, Mrs. Mosiman...are ya? Are ya? Are ya? Are ya gonna enter...are ya? Are ya?"  Finally...just to shut him up...I relented. All in the spirit of fun and good will, mind you. Not to cuff him metaphorically into a brick wall or anything.

I assembled a team of the most creative and coordinated people in my corridor and dragged them, kicking and screaming into my classroom for what would be the first of a series of thousands of practice sessions. These jam sessions would last late into the wee hours of the afternoon and the team would come to the brink of breaking up over dance-move debates, clashes over costumes and the classic "glitter-or-no-glitter" argument that ended up busting up the Beatles. But not us...we held strong. However, rumors reached us that the 3rd grade team could not withstand the pressure. Mr. King would be performing...alone. I stoically held back hysterical bouts of laughter as the karma train made a stop at Mr. King's door.  Toot! toot!

I was almost sad as he took the stage as a solo act. Almost. He donned a wig (What a loser) and

Unlike Mr. King's wig, my hair piece was an instrumental
part of our act.

began to sing "Hello." What an uninspired choice. And then...suddenly... movement in the audience grabbed our attention as the ladies of the 3rd grade team left their seats to join their crooning colleague for a spirited Christmas mash-up. It had all been a ruse! A diabolical plot to lull us into a complacent competitive coma!

I admit it threw us a bit. But in a flurry of feathered boas, we took the stage. Possessed by the spirit of Christmas, we bounced, bopped, shimmied, shook, jitter-bugged and jazz-handed our way all over the place, leaving the audience feeling light-headed and confused. What just happened? I'll tell you what happened...4th grade team & friends just dropped the mic on you.

Amy OUT!