Gimme five! (sweaters)

As the worst gift-giver on the face of the planet, I thought that I had finally stumbled onto a festive formula for the perfect present. "Look at that," Brad said with some disgust, pointing over to a store rack filled with seasonal sweaters. Following his finger, I squealed with delight and rushed over for a closer look. "They're adorable!" To Brad's horror, I immediately purchased five identical Christmas sweaters in an assortment of sizes. I unveiled them at my grade level team meeting the following day. My team was, naturally, speechless, about my themed gift. "And we can all wear them on the SAME day," I explained as they stared at me, in transfixed wonder.

Monday dawned, bright and beautiful. "Today's the day," I shouted, bounding out of bed, thoughtfully texting my team a reminder to wear their sweaters today. I spotted Geri first...NOT wearing her Christmas sweater. "Don't get all ruffled," she snarled, digging through her closet of junk and digging her sweater out from the bottom. "It's right here," she said, shaking out the wrinkles. Kelly also walked in without her shirt. No...wait. I wrote that wrong. She was wearing a shirt...just not the right one. "It's right here," she said, pulling it out of the closet and snipping the tags off. Rachel saw me in the hall and dove for cover into the nearest room.

"I can't find it," she admitted, "I've searched EVERYWHERE."

"Did you check the garbage," Geri muttered.

"What," I asked.

"Nothing," Geri said, jealous of Rachel's festive blue sweater devoid of a happy reindeer.

Sondra, a shining star of responsibility, was wearing her Christmas sweater with a smile more or less plastered to her face all day, determined to make the best of this.

The school community was obviously confused by the implementation of a holiday dress-code.. "Uh, Mrs. Mosiman," the school secretary said gently, "Were you aware that Ms. Nichol is wearing the same sweater?" "Really," I said, "What a coincidence!" Each member of the 4th grade team (except Rachel) received this same message approximately fifty times each before someone eventually caught on. My gift was such a rousing success that I plan on implementing it EVERY year! To ensure that no one is left out, though, I believe that I will store next year's holiday sweaters personally and distribute them on the scheduled debut day...I have FINALLY found my role on the 4th grade team: Costume manager!